Throwback Review: Brokeback Mountain

Here is Jesse's tender review of Brokeback Mountain.  It first appeared on 2/10/06.  It appears here as it first appeared on the old blog.  I know...you are waiting for that new stuff we promised!  Soon now...soon.  Until then enjoy Jesse's romantically touching review!




My girlfriend (who I love dearly) wanted to see this movie. I being the loving boyfriend I am was glad to take her. I won't lie I really didn't want to see a movie about two gay cowboys and their undying love. Too be honest with you I wouldn't want to see a love story involving any of the sexes. I'm just not a love story kind of guy. Yet I gathered her up and took her to see it. I was in for a bit of a surprise.

 

Let's start off with the very simple plot. Two cowboys are hired to spend six months in the mountains with sheep. One will sleep with the sheep the other at the camp. These two cowboys are Ennis (Heath Ledger) and Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal). While on the mountain they develop a relationship. They fall in love but both agree no one can know. They come off the mountain and go to live seperate lives. Every once in a while the two will get together and go camping on Brokeback Mountain. Ennis's wife (Michelle Williams) grows knowledgable of what they do fishing. This sets up some complications to these men's love story. Jack goes on too marry a woman (Anne Hathaway). Both of them have children but Jack isn't able to cope with the seperation from Ennis. He wants the two of them to start a ranch together. Ennis can not do this as he doesn't want to seperate from his children. So the two can only spend time when they meet on Brokeback Mountain for their trips. There is more plot then this but I don't want give to much away.



First let's talk about the acting in this film. Heath Ledger does give a superb performance as Ennis. Ennis is a very quiet man and doesn't speak a whole lot. His emotions are hidden deep within him. The only true emotions he expresses in the movie are too Jack. This exchange of dialogue says it all about his character.

Jack: You know that's the most you've said in two weeks.

Ennis: Hell, that's the most I said in two years.

And when he says it you absolutely believe he hasn't. Ennis is an introvert and Jack an extrovert. So, Heath gets a less showy role but he tells the entire story of his character with his movements and facial gestures. Ennis has a lot of anger in him and when it explodes he can't reign it in. He never takes it out in his wife or loved ones, just random people who rile him up. Heath deserves his nomination (we all know he'll get it) but I don't think he deserves victory. He does deserves kudos for his performance (and I won't use the word brave with as much money as they get paid it kills all claims to it). Jake on the other hand is a good actor but his character is a total fuckhead. He is very self centered and his only concern is his own happiness and nothing else. Jake does his best to show this as him being so much in love but it comes off wrong and I blame that more on the writing. The two actresses in the movie Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams are both really good in this film. Michelle gets the more kudos. Her character is so in love with Ennis that it tears her up when she finds out. She sticks with him though even having sex with him after that (even though he likes to fuck her in the ass). She does her best to hold onto her man and her family. After a while she knows this to be a futile attempt. She is strong and one of the best written female characters in a while. Hathaway is good but her character starts off nice then turns into a cold hearted bitch. Anne does her best with the role but again the writing failed her.



Now let's talk about the writing if we could. The script was written by Larry McMurty and Diana Osama based on the short story by Anne E. Proulx. This story is write up McMurty's alley. He loves writing about cowboys in the modern age. They always come across as men who don't belong. So, it's even more perfect that they are cowboys who would be rejected by other cowboys. He does a nice job on the script in places. He and Diana created a wonderful character in Ennis Del Mar. They write him pitch perfect. They know that decent men like him put family in front of everything else. They know they are willing to sacrifice everything to put their kids first. They also know that Ennis wouldn't be able to communicate to his kids. No matter how much love he has for them the gap would always be there. Now where they fail is with Jack. Jack is the complete opposite of Ennis. Now this is just textbook writing but the problem is he has no redeeming value at all. They should of done one more rewrite to get him right. Do they deserve an Oscar? No, but they did a good job on it.



The director of this film is Ang Lee. Ang Lee is one of the best directors alive. He has directed such classics as Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, The Ice Storm, and my personal favorite Ride With The Devil. He brings his style to this movie with much a plumb. The visuals in this movie are beautiful. He captures the scenery like Ansel Adams would of if he directed. Every shot is set up to perfection. The Mountain is almost as important a character as the people involved. Ang also doesn't shy away from nothing he captures everything in it's rawest forms. Ang Lee does a masterful job with okay material.



All right so you know some of my complaints here are a few more. While watching the movie I noticed one thing. During the first of the movie we see the two work and actually begin to talk to each other. Then one night Ennis too drunk to ride up to the sheep sleeps at the camp. Shivering in the night Jack tells him to get in the tent. Ennis agrees. He lies down next to Jack. After he falls asleep Jack grabs his arm and wraps it around his own body. Ennis wakes up and the grab each other violently. Two seconds later with no kissing or anticipation Ennis has bent him over and inserted. I saw this and one thought hit my mind, "that's not very romantic."



Through the whole movie the two of them kiss violently. There is no romance whatsoever to their love story. It looked more like they should be beating the shit out of each other and not have relations. My other problem is this the movie is a tad too long. We could of spent a little more time cutting out the fat not needed. Maybe some of those scenes showing Jack to be a jerk would of been nice.



Now fellas I know what your thinking why should I see a film about two gay men. Well for one there are two gorgeous chicks in it. They also both take of their tops and share their lucious boobs with us. So, there you go you male bimbos. Now I haven't forgot you ladies. Both men (regrettably) can't seem to keep their clothes on and there will be plenty for you to see. Now a warning for those of you with a weak stomach. There is some graphic violence in the movie. We see an old man's body after his penis has been torn off (strangely a very important scene to the movie). There is also a sheep that has it's insides torn out by a coyote that we seen in graphic detail. Both scenes were a bit squeamish and really grossed out my girlfriend. So be prepared for these eventualities.



So what's the final verdict. The movie was nothing more then okay. It was good to watch once. If you do see it it has to be on the big screen so you can appreciate the scenery. It won't be on either of my best or worst list. It's too good to be on any worst list. My final thought was it was better than Star Wars Revenge of the Sith which was a gay love story that didn't work.

Throwback Review: Blade: Trinity...Blade 3...or All Ryan Reynolds' Fault

Here is the very first review I wrote.  It appears here unaltered.  Wow...where is that new material promised?  It's on its way!  In the meantime enjoy this Blade Trinity review!


Well...I've seen Blade: Trinity twice now. My first impressions were that it was the weakest of the Blade films. I stand by that. It is the weakest of the Blade films. There is too much wrong with it.

The first thing is Ryan Reynolds. I've read reviews where they say he steals the show. How about...he sinks the ship! Wesley Snipes still dominates the screen as Blade and no weasely, little wisecracking, idiot boy can take that from him! That's almost like saying..."Ron Howard stole every scene from John Wayne in the Shootist!" Ryan Reynolds tries to crack jokes all through the film. They all fall flat. They're not funny and, I think, inappropriate in a Blade movie. I wanted Blade to either, chop off his head, or let him hold his sword.

The next thing is Dracula. They just call him Drake. Why is it, it seems, that every vampire movie now wants Dracula to be the first vampire? The fellow that played Drake was ok...he didn't leave an impression...he was just there. Not a good thing for a bad-ass vampire. I think he should have taken charge...and yes killed all the wiener vampires surrounding him. Drake is supposed to be the most powerful vampire...fooled me! I should mention that Drake went into hibernation. They woke him up to kill Blade. Drake didn't seem to care about Blade...or the other vampires...either way. He seemed to want to go back into hibernation. He should have.

The last thing is David Goyer. Yes he is the director. Also, he is the writer of all three Blade films. I liked the first two very much...this third one is disappointing. I hope it is due to Goyer's inexperience as a director. I think he is a very good writer. I hope he grows into a better director over the years. The action scenes were well staged. I think Goyer just needs more directing under his belt.

Well...I really wanted to like Blade 3 more. I even watched it twice to see if I my first impression was wrong. It's sad that this will be Wesley Snipes' last outing as Blade. It should have ended stronger. The scary thing is, there is talk of a movie featuring the Nightstalkers from this film. I hope Ryan Reynolds is not cast as Hannibal King again. He is just not right for the part. Blade 3 was better than Underworld and Van Helsing(two of the worst vampire films to hit the big screen!) that still is not saying much. I still think you should go see Blade 3 for yourself. Who knows...you may think I'm insane(which I don't pretend not to be!) or you may think I'm right on...either way go see it for yourself as Blade rides off into the sunrise.

Throwback Movie Review! Land of the Dead

Hey everybody Joe Diesel here!  Welcome to the new blog for the Half Hour of Power!  To get things started, I'll put up some posts I did from my old blog!  I know you are bursting with joy and delight!  Don't worry we will get some new material up here momentarily!

Here is the review I wrote for Land of the Dead.  I first posted this on 7/5/05.  It appears unaltered and exactly as it did the day I first posted it.  This one got some fun comments that I may share in a later post.



 LAND OF THE DEAD


It looks like we have to wait for The Devils Rejects to see a good horror movie! I can describe Land of the Dead in one word...disappointing. Like everyone else, I was waiting for another Romero zombie picture. I am a big fan of horror movies. They are my favorite kind of movie. So...when I heard that Romero finally got the backing to make his fourth zombie film, I was excited. I thought, "Romero will show 'em how it's done!" Alas! Alack! It was not to be!

The movie sounds good enough. A group of humans who survived the zombie holocaust have fortified a portion of a city trying to get back to some kind of normal life. They've been keeping the zombies out so far. At night, the humans go to the surrounding towns and gather supplies. Sounds good enough? Yea...that plot of the movie is fine. The execution is lackluster. The script needed more work. I think the movie is too short...with a running time of about 100min.

The June edition of Fangoria magazine has a great story about Land of the Dead. What!? You don't read Fangoria? If you are a horror movie fan, you should read Fangoria! www.fangoria.com Now...Fangoria gives what they call the Fango Seal of Approval. Almost every time I have watched a movie that sported the Fango Seal of Approval, the movie was either good or outstanding. The June issue has articles on two movies that get the seal...The Devils Rejects...and a Japanese horror film called Premonition. If you like horror films, you can safely put money down that you will most likely find these films good or outstanding. I bring this up because suspiciously absent from the Land of the Dead article is a seal of approval. Fangoria has covered Romero's career since the magazine first began in the late seventies. You would think that a new Romero zombie movie would have no trouble getting a Fango Seal of Approval. "What does this have to do with the movie?" you ask...let's look at the article and the movie side by side.

One of my big problems with the movie is the Big Daddy zombie. He is played by Eugene Clark. He says about Big Daddy, "He's a bad dude. He just don't take no stuff...You know what I'm sayin'? You come to my territory and mess with my people. Everybody's my people, you understand? So they come to town and do what they got to do. They gonna take care of bidness. That's all I gotta say. Don't mess with Big Daddy's people." You're a zombie! You have no people! He sounds so uppity and pretentious here I can't take it! But...wait...there's more! "I see Big Daddy as a man, a zombie, an entity who is evolving, and who realizes, 'This is wrong!' All right? You come into our territory, we eat you. You don't come into our territory, we don't eat you-we leave you alone. You come in, you cause mayhem, and it's wrong. So...civil rights? I don't think there are any civil rights. It's zombie rights. Leave us alone!" Again...You're a zombie! Mr. Clark sounds like he hasn't seen any of Romero's previous zombie films. Zombies have no territory! They wonder around aimlessly and will follow you and eat you even if you have never killed a zombie! All of the scenes with Big Daddy are painful to watch. Here's one where he holds a severed zombie head. He looks at it and seems to weep. He throws it down and smashes it under his boot. Then he lets out a mighty roar. I cringed at how stupid that was.

Ok...what else...In the beginning of the movie when the humans are raiding the town for supplies...Cholo (John Leguizamo) is showing a kid the ropes. They sit on a motorcycle and watch the others take out some zombies. The kid says, "I thought it was going to be a battle. It's a fucking massacre!" Cholo does not react to this as if he agrees! Whose side are you on kid?! Again...THEY ARE ZOMBIES! That line is sooo idiotic and out of place!

Ok...in Land of the Dead, the zombies are supposed to be evolving and becoming more aware. An example...they begin to use tools. For those who don't know...this is not new! The zombies have done that in every Romero zombie movie! In fact, within the first few minutes of Night of the Living Dead, the zombie picks up a rock and smashes the car window to get to Barbara! Also, Big Daddy is supposed to "lead" the zombies to the city. This is also not new! In Dawn of the Dead the Steven zombie "led" the zombies down the hallway, up the stairs, and into the secret hideaway! Everything the zombies do in Land of the Dead, the zombies could have done without the Big Daddy zombie! Bub figured out how tro use a gun in Day of the Dead! I just could not get Mr. Clark's asinine comments out of my head while watching the movie! You are playing a zombie!

Ok...for some reason, that I can't begin to comprehend, Romero wants us to feel sympathy for these zombies. I have no sympathy for zombies! You can't exploit a zombie! You can't massacre a zombie! You can't abuse a zombie! You can't torture a zombie! You can't negotiate with a zombie to stay out of your territory!(to use Mr. Clark's words!) I named one of those scenes above. Another is when Big Daddy and his zombie horde reach the outskirts of the city. he shows a zombie carrying a butcher knife how to use it. He cuts through a board. Big Daddy peers through it. Oh my! He sees zombies hung upside down apparently used for target practice! Oh...how brutal! How dare those filthy humans brutalize us poor defenseless zombies! Big Daddy lets out a mighty roar. "This is wrong he screams! Don't mess with my people!" Eat shit Big Daddy zombie you are the stupidest zombie ever to grace the silver screen! You dirty son-of-a...

My bad! I almost got off track!

Ok..another stupid sympathy scene...at the end of the movie, our hero Riley(Simon Baker) is about to leave town. Someone in his party is about to blow up a bridge that the Bid Daddy zombie just happens to be walking across with a bunch of other zombies. Riley stops 'em, "No. They're just looking for a place to go just like us." WHAT! At the risk of sounding like a broken record, THEY ARE ZOMBIES! BLOW THEM TO HELL! Riley is going to get all the humans killed with an attitude like that!

Ok..."What did Romero say about the movie?" You asking me? Let's check the Fangoria..."I tried to relate [this movie] to post 9/11 America. Living with terrorism, with the idea of this suddenly being a real threat." He goes on...but that is not relevant to this review. This is not new to any Romero zombie movie. All his zombie movies had something to say about society and the world around us. This didn't bother me...nor did it surprise me. I was accused of not liking it by Whitechocoricecrispyspaceapplejacks because of this commentary on politics and society. That is not the case. I think I have made that point quite clear.

I can go on with some more scenes...Ok...one more...Kaufman(Dennis Hopper...the evil human...also not new to Romero zombie movies...evil humans I mean) is on his way out to escape. He gets in his car but his driver ran off with the keys. The car is in an underground parking garage. Who wanders in? That's right Big Daddy. It should be stated that in life, Big Daddy worked at a gas station. Kaufman sits in the car while Big Daddy takes a gas pump that is next to the car and shoves it through the windshield. Gas fills Kaufman's car. Big Daddy walks off. Big Daddy was all alone Kaufman could have killed Big Daddy with zero problem! Stupid human! The other reason I bring up this scene is, zombies wonder around and repeat what they did in life. This is the second time I bring this up...do I need to expand the point? Zombies are not territorial and do not deserve sympathy from the humans or the audience. I've never seen Romero try so hard at trying to get the audience to feel sympathy for a zombie that will eat you...that will rip you limb from limb!

Ok...what did I like about it? The KNB boys handled the make up effects very well. The zombies look as good as they ever have. It was also good to see Tom Savini make a cameo as a zombie. It was good to see Asia Argento in this movie. She is a talented actress. I hope to see her in more of her father's (Dario Argento) movies and maybe some more good American movies.

That really is about it. All you waiting for a real horror movie go see The Devil's Rejects. That should wash the bad taste of this mediocre movie out of your mouth. For all it's flaws, I think Day of the Dead is a better more watchable zombie movie. Romero is capable of making another great zombie movie. When he does, I'll be the first in line...and the first to say job well done.

I can't resist. I hope to inflict some DEEP HURTING...DEEP HURTING on you with these parting thoughts from my favorite zombie and yours Eugene Clark playing the part of Big Daddy, "And when Big Daddy sees people dying, and people being slaughtered, it pains him...His world has been torn apart, his people-zombies-are being destroyed, and it's being caused by irresponsible people, and it has to stop. The challenge for me at times is, how do I keep my sanity?" How indeed...