Throwback Review: Hostel

Yep...here is another throwback review!  Yes!  We really are writing brand new material!  I swear!  This one first appeared 2/6/06.  Looking back at this review, it looks like I thought the movie was ok after I first saw it.  I haven't seen it since.  Enjoy!





Well...this ones about a month late! Deal with it!

Hmmmm....What are people saying about Eli Roth's new movie Hostel? I went and asked some random people on the street. I was astonished at some of the responses. Some made me laugh. Some made me cry. Others made me ponder the meaning of life. Here is one...just a random pick here...

"A moving tender story with scenes of great majesty. It left me sad, yet at the same time I had one of those wonderful feelings of joy and happiness. If only some people would watch this film and take to heart the love that is shown in this movie and realize their sad look on life. God made us all. God loves us all."


"Timless."

"Tender."

"Landmark."

"Groundbreaking."

Wow! What a movie Hostel is! Such raw emotion there! As you can see from the above quotes, some people were moved to tears by Hostel. I can't say that I blame them. I went through a box of tissues myself!

What's it about? Ok! I'll tell ya! Hostel is the tender tale of an American medical student who is on vacation in Europe with two of his good friends. While there, he meets and falls deeply in love with some Italian chick. Alas! Alack! Their love is complicated by the hurtful fact that she sells him to be tortured. Play the weepy music now..."near far...where ever you are...I know that in time my heart will go on!" Why did she do that to him? I won't tell. You'll have to see for yourself. Hostel is the perfect date movie guys. It's a modern day Greek tragedy. It will profoundly scratch at your heart. Some chicks dig it when their man cries. This movie will make grown men weep. So get her some flowers and drag her along to this intensely moving "chick flick"

Eli Roth does a pretty good job with the material here. His other movie, Cabin Fever, was utter crap! It was a horror movie and we all know horror movies are all the same and they all suck! That may be why I enjoyed Hostel. Oh don't get me wrong. The torture scenes are intense and shocking. Only because of the love story that came before. Roth does some of those tricks where he will cut away and not show what piece of the body is being mutilated. That is cool because you always imagine that what is being mutilated is worse than what they show you.

The opening is especially sentimental. A hardworking man cleans up some severed body parts and cleans a broken heart off the floor. Ya...you women are always breaking our hearts! Masterful piece of filmmaking that! The guy is probably thinking about all the times some chick said no to a date and laughed at him behind his back. After that scene, I knew I was in for a different kind of "chick flick" this was going to be a special heartwarming movie going experience. That is when I shed the first of many tears while watching Hostel.

The look of the film is especially pleasing. It is dark and moody like the human heart. This really takes off right before his chick sells him to be tortured. I could sense that there was a tension between the two...some dark brooding secret. She didn't want to do it. These complications must have been painful to them. Joy and pain intermixed in nearly equal measure. This is really felt when he stops to talk to a stranger (who happens to be played by one of the most interesting filmmakers working anywhere in the world today...Takashi Miike) He tells the dude to be careful...you can spend all your money in there. He points to the building the chick is leading him to. What's inside? It's a mystery! I'm not telling!

Ya...ya...this article has been half jest and half truth! Did I fool anyone? I did enjoy Hostel. It's not a great film...but it is tons better than Cabin Fever and that crappy Saw 2.

I cannot recommend that you (whoever you are) see it. I am trying to only recommend utter trash this year. Avoid all the good ones...that means any movie you are interested in seeing.

Oh yea...one more thing about Hostel. If you ever travel around Europe, have enough money to stay in Hotels...not Hostels! Do you see the spelling difference? You don't want to fall in love with some chick and be sold for torture do you?! DO YOU?!