Yep...here is another throwback review! Yes! We really are writing brand new material! I swear! This one first appeared 2/6/06. Looking back at this review, it looks like I thought the movie was ok after I first saw it. I haven't seen it since. Enjoy!
Well...this ones about a month late! Deal with it!
are people saying about Eli Roth's new movie Hostel? I went and asked
some random people on the street. I was astonished at some of the
responses. Some made me laugh. Some made me cry. Others made me ponder
the meaning of life. Here is one...just a random pick here...
moving tender story with scenes of great majesty. It left me sad, yet
at the same time I had one of those wonderful feelings of joy and
happiness. If only some people would watch this film and take to heart
the love that is shown in this movie and realize their sad look on life.
God made us all. God loves us all."
What a movie Hostel is! Such raw emotion there! As you can see from the
above quotes, some people were moved to tears by Hostel. I can't say
that I blame them. I went through a box of tissues myself!
it about? Ok! I'll tell ya! Hostel is the tender tale of an American
medical student who is on vacation in Europe with two of his good
friends. While there, he meets and falls deeply in love with some
Italian chick. Alas! Alack! Their love is complicated by the hurtful
fact that she sells him to be tortured. Play the weepy music now..."near
far...where ever you are...I know that in time my heart will go on!"
Why did she do that to him? I won't
tell. You'll have to see for yourself. Hostel is the perfect date movie
guys. It's a modern day Greek tragedy. It will profoundly scratch at
your heart. Some chicks dig it when their man cries. This movie will
make grown men weep. So get her some flowers and drag her along to this
intensely moving "chick flick"
Eli Roth does a pretty
good job with the material here. His other movie, Cabin Fever, was utter
crap! It was a horror movie and we all know horror movies are all the
same and they all suck! That may be why I enjoyed Hostel. Oh don't get
me wrong. The torture scenes are intense and shocking. Only because of
the love story that came before. Roth does some of those tricks where he
will cut away and not show what piece of the body is being mutilated.
That is cool because you always imagine that what is being mutilated is
worse than what they show you.
The opening is especially sentimental. A hardworking man cleans up some severed body parts and cleans a broken
heart off the floor. Ya...you women are always breaking our hearts!
Masterful piece of filmmaking that! The guy is probably thinking about
all the times some chick said no to a date and laughed at him behind his
back. After that scene, I knew I was in for a different kind of "chick
flick" this was going to be a special heartwarming movie going
experience. That is when I shed the first of many tears while watching
The look of the film is especially pleasing. It
is dark and moody like the human heart. This really takes off right
before his chick sells him to be tortured. I could sense that there was a
tension between the two...some dark brooding secret. She didn't want to
do it. These complications must have been painful to them. Joy and pain
intermixed in nearly equal measure. This is really felt when he stops
to talk to a stranger (who happens to be played by one of the most
interesting filmmakers working anywhere in the world today...Takashi
Miike) He tells the dude to be careful...you can spend all your money in
there. He points to the building the chick is leading him to. What's
inside? It's a mystery! I'm not telling!
article has been half jest and half truth! Did I fool anyone? I did
enjoy Hostel. It's not a great film...but it is tons better than Cabin
Fever and that crappy Saw 2.
I cannot recommend that
you (whoever you are) see it. I am trying to only recommend utter trash
this year. Avoid all the good ones...that means any movie you are
interested in seeing.
Oh yea...one more thing about
Hostel. If you ever travel around Europe, have enough money to stay in
Hotels...not Hostels! Do you see the spelling difference? You don't want
to fall in love with some chick and be sold for torture do you?! DO